Southern Charm

Southern Charm Recap: S5, Ep. 3 – “Groovy Baby”

It’s another beautiful morning in Charleston and Thomas’ unabashed lechery is on display once again as he tells Ashley he’s glad he found a woman with a good heart, then asks if he can feel her heart up. I think my 10th-grade boyfriend used a similar line on me once, and it was cheesy coming … Read more

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Southern Charm Recap: S5, Episode 2 – “The Break-Up Bunch, Part 2”

People are trickling in to Shep’s house for his birthday as the main players are on their way to the party. Whitney arrives first, then Cameran, who immediately starts stirring the pot by asking Craig if he invited a date. To Craig’s credit, he tells her he thinks it would have been distasteful to bring … Read more

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Southern Charm: A Kathryn Tutorial, Part 1

The Daily Mail published a disturbing report alleging, via leaked texts, that Kathryn’s reckless behavior may have endangered her children’s health, both in utero and beyond. If these allegations are true, this bottom-feeding piece of white trash should never have contact with her children again. But even if they aren’t true, her abominable behavior throughout … Read more

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Recap: “Southern Charm” Season 5 Premiere

The show has barely begun, and already Thomas’ new girlfriend is my hero. In the face of Kathryn’s tired “as a mother” and “my family” blatherings, Ashley Jacobs looks her in the eye and tells her exactly like it is: Kathryn is a baby mama at best, a mere egg donor at worst. The egg … Read more

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Southern Charm Reunion: Kathryn is a Monster, Part 2

It’s too bad Thomas is too much of a gentleman to make good on his threat to divulge some deep dark secret about Kathryn that will preclude her from ever working again. Or, I assume, ever seeing her children again. The whole cast protects her, and even though I know it’s in the best interest … Read more

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Recap: Southern Charm Reunion Part 1 Game, Set, Match: Jennifer

Kathryn Dennis is a monster. The end. Just kidding-she IS a monster, but she is also a delightful source of schadenfreude, tarted up like Charo if Charo had been styled by Pennywise the Clown (and exemplifying Mammy’s observation that you can dress up a mule in Marchesa couture, but it’s still a mule in a … Read more

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Southern Charm: Season Finale Recap

I didn’t think anything could be worse than what Kathryn wore to last season’s finale party, but I was wrong. Last year, she dressed up as a latter-day Medusa in her flowing red chiffon cape, white pumps and gold boxer gloves. This year, her attention-seeking getup was a cocktail consisting of one part Prince, one … Read more

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Southern Charm Recap: A Tribe Called Key Best Western

The opening montage for this episode includes Cameran digging for a compliment, and Craig pandering for viewer acceptance by talking to Gizmo about making baby clothes for Cameran’s birthday. A cat! Baby stuff! I can hear the collective “awwwww!” from the pasture. Then it’s over to Chelt-sea’s house, where Shep arrives to apologize for Commodore-gate. … Read more

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Southern Charm 101: 5 Reasons Why Craig Sucks

Today’s lesson is inspired by my continued amazement at the legions of supporters for Southern Charm’s Craig Conover. Week after week, for almost four seasons, he has shown us his petulance, entitlement, arrogance and general weaselly-ness. For everyone out there who thinks Naomie and Shep are too hard on poor, delicate Craig, or that Craig … Read more

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