Finally–the last installment of a 3-part “Tell All” that could (and should) have been dispatched with in an hour.
The first issue is trust. What happens when spouses’ families don’t trust each other? Pedro and Chantel, you’re up. Pedro’s despicable mother and sister are featured in the flashback montage of Pedro and Chantel’s disastrous trip to the Dominican Republic. My first question is, if Pedro’s mother is a lawyer, how does she not have a laptop? It goes unanswered, because Shaun Robinson’s first question is why Pedro thinks he’s responsible for his mother and sister. Shaun Robinson sucks. Pedro gives the same answer he’s given all season long to justify his outrageous generosity with regard to his family–it’s his culture, his mother gave him life, blah, blah, blah. We know.
Paola sees an opportunity for screen time and jumps in to say she spoils her family in Colombia, and if Russ doesn’t like it, he can lump it. This really has nothing to do with you Paola, so please shut up. Chantel starts to explain that Pedro is sending even more money back to his family now, and they live in an even bigger apartment. Paola says the cost of living is cheaper in
shitholes places like the DR and wherever Paola is from in Colombia, but Chantel shuts her down, snapping, “I’m not even done.” I like it when Chantel gets on her high horse. She can take a lot, but when she’s had it, she’s very good at turning up the bitchiness and putting insufferable famewhores like Paola and Pedro’s sister in their places.
Chantel continues by saying that she’s asked Pedro to take her out to one nice dinner per month, but he hasn’t bothered to do it since he’s sending every penny he makes back to his shiftless, entitled mother. Paola does a 180 at this news and lets everyone know that she wouldn’t put up with that for a minute. God, she’s obnoxious. But in this instance, she’s 100% right to agree with Chantel. There is no excuse for Pedro to expect Chantel to indulge everything about his culture while he completely ignores hers.
Shaun Robinson points out that Pedro’s mother and sister said some “not very nice” things about Chantel. Not very nice? Girl, grow a pair. They were hideous to her. If this host is not going to dig into the few juicy bits of good drama on this show, what is she doing there? She must have gone to the Andy Cohen school of interviewing–only sycophants and soft-ballers need apply. Chantel is still upset that Pedro didn’t defend her to his mother and sister, as well she should be.
Speaking of horrible people, it’s time to talk about Paola’s loathsome friend Juan. Russ is clearly angered by the montage showing all the abominable things Juan said to and about him, while Paola is practically doubled over with laughter. The bottom line is that Paola knows Russ is deeply frustrated over her relationship with Juan–she just doesn’t care. She’s not going to defend Russ to Juan because Russ is a grown man and can defend himself. Russ protests, but everyone knows that in the end he’ll just sit there and take it. Mohamed, Alexei and Pedro all shake their heads at the spineless cuckold Russ’ awful marriage has turned him into.
Pedro and Paola’s friends and relatives are sources of tension, to say the least, but Alexei’s mom is awesome. Loren and Alexei rehash the disappointment of his family’s decision not to immigrate to the US, but they’re still trying to figure out a way to make it happen.
Shaun Robinson asks Pedro if his mother would ever immigrate to the US, and his response is the most laughable thing I’ve ever heard. His mother can’t come to the US because she wouldn’t be able to work here. Hahahahahahaha! She doesn’t work in the DR! The LAST reason she would have for not moving somewhere is that she would be precluded from working. That woman has done an exemplary job of manipulating her son’s perception of her. Wow.
Why are Danielle and Mohamed talking? There have absolutely nothing left to say.
Jorge is angry with Anfisa because she cheated on him. She denies it, and even though Jorge insists it’s true, he won’t say why he believes it. He just keeps saying Anfisa is lying and she keeps saying she’s not. This is already going nowhere. Anfisa and Jorge are given center stage anyway, while the other couples are relegated to the back room. We revisit scenes showing Jorge and Anfisa’s volatile relationship, and find out that Jorge thinks things went south between them after he got her a boob job. This innocuous revelation stuns consummate television host Shaun Robinson into silence, and her eyes flit around the room as she tries to think of a follow-up question. With this level of ineptitude, I don’t even think she could get into the Andy Cohen school of interviewing.
Jorge and Anfisa engage in roughly twelve minutes of back-and-forth without revealing anything. There are more cheating accusations and more denials. Jorge refuses to reveal what Anfisa does for a living, even though he brought it up. He hints that she’s somehow involved in the sex industry by asking Shaun Robinson what she would think Anfisa’s profession was if she saw her on the street. Shaun Robinson disingenuously responds that she could think Anfisa was a teacher. Um, I doubt that would be anyone’s first guess. Everyone should just quit beating around the bush and reference this report that came out in June.
Everyone returns to the stage and spends the final few minutes of the show agreeing that Jorge and Anfisa are telling two different stories and someone is lying. What a waste of airtime. Danielle actually gives some good advice by warning Anfisa that people are going to find out anyway, so she might as well get ahead of it by giving her version of the story. Danielle should know!
Having accomplished nothing in the three hours comprising this “Tell All,” the producers follow the couples as they leave the set, hoping to capture some drama. Danielle tries to corner Mohamed because he hasn’t given her money for her attorney’s fees, but Mohamed just wants to disappear and never see Danielle again. Alexei is irritated with Loren because she spent way too much energy probing Mohamed, Jorge and Anfisa. Why can’t everyone be like Alexei? Jorge and Anfisa return to their hotel room together and have another conversation during which Jorge reveals nothing and Anfisa admits to nothing.
A week later, Danielle has contacted the producers to let them know she is going to sue Mohamed. Danielle will do absolutely anything to stay in Mohamed’s life. Give it up, already! It looks like Mohamed made good on his threat to disappear, because his phone is disconnected and neither Danielle nor the producers have heard from him since the “Tell All” was taped. And please, for the Love of God, let that be the end of Danielle and Mohamed.