90 Day Fiance Ep. 2 Recap: A Plane Ride and a Child Bride

Nicole is getting ready to leave for Morocco but hasn’t been able to get in touch with Azan for two days. If you were about to fly to a foreign country with your 2-year-old daughter in tow, wouldn’t you be a little unsettled if the person you were planning to visit ghosted you right before the trip? I would, but you and I are not Nicole, who doesn’t appear to be operating on all cylinders. She’s upset that Azan hasn’t been as “lovey-dovey” over the phone and texts as he was when she saw him in person, and for once, TLC’s obsession with flashbacks serves a purpose. They show a montage of last season’s disastrous trip to Morocco, where, for starters, Azan called her lazy, admitted she wasn’t his perfect woman (no surprise there), and told her she didn’t matter to him. Which begs the question, if Azan has been treating Nicole worse over the phone and in texts than he did in Morocco, what possible reason could she have for still being with him?

Nicole reminds me of a mole person. She appears to have limited intellect, no common sense and zero self-awareness, yet somehow she malevolently blunders her way through life, blindly burrowing through any obstacles she encounters. Her beleaguered mother Robbalee is rightfully concerned about Nicole’s ability to manage herself and her daughter in Morocco, and makes a series of entreaties on the way to the airport, all of which Nicole ignores.

Robbalee also reminds Nicole that Azan expects her to have dropped a few pounds since their last visit, and is apt to be disappointed–again–by her appearance. Like all of her mother’s concerns, Nicole just shrugs it off. The focal point of this trip is May, and to see whether Azan will be a suitable father figure to her. I predict that once she lands in Morocco, Nicole will foist May off on Azan’s family and, just like the last time she was there, demand his undiverted attention. Does Nicole really care if Azan will be a good father? She’s already instructed May to call him “Daddy,” so it doesn’t seem like a little thing like May’s welfare is going to dissuade her from doing whatever she pleases. Robbalee should have petitioned the court for custody of May before Nicole could use her to blackmail the family into sponsoring Azan. This poor child couldn’t be in worse hands, and it’s clear that Robbalee knows it as she tearfully says good-bye to May.

Next we’re introduced to Evelyn, an 18-year-old from a devout Christian family who is engaged to David, a 26-year-old from Spain. The only issue here is whether David will be approved for a K-1 Visa. Evelyn, her brother and parents all possess a strange, otherworldly glow. The family’s only concern about Evelyn getting married at 18 to someone they’ve never met is that she might leave the family band. Evelyn is a fledgling singer-songwriter, which is how she met David–he sent her a message on social media, she responded, and the rest, as they say, is for us to dissect on 90 Day Fiance.

I’m sure she’s very talented, but why does every young female singer adopt the same breathy, yodel-ly vocal style? Just sing the damn song. And while you’re at it, get off my lawn. Anyway, Evelyn’s high school friend appears to be the only person in her life who has reservations about Evelyn’s rushed and youthful marriage. I’m shocked that Evelyn even has a high school friend because I’ve always thought the kids of devout Christians with family bands were exclusively home-schooled. I finally learned something from The Learning Channel other than how to rubberneck the lives of an endless parade of little people.

David ends up passing his interview and is approved for his visa, so it seems that the only wrinkle in the sunset-swathed unearthliness of David and Evelyn’s romance is the threat of her leaving the family band. I’m already bored with David and Evelyn.

Last week we learned that Molly’s daughter Olivia is not thrilled with the prospect of Molly’s intended, Luis, coming to live with them. So this week, Molly meets with her mother for some support. Molly’s mother, like Olivia, is worried that Luis will take her away from them, but the mother is confident that as long as Luis treats Molly well, Olivia will come around and everything will work out. Molly’s father is a different story. He thinks Luis is using Molly to gain entrance to America, and doesn’t like the idea of his daughter marrying someone from a different country–or a different race.

David, the sad and penniless 48-year-old, is taking his fiance Annie to pick out some gold. How appropriate. Apparently it is Thai custom for a groom to present his bride with 11 baht of gold, symbolizing the union of two individuals. 1+1=11 in this case. Unfortunately for Annie, 11 baht of gold cost around $6,800, and, as we know from last week, David is broke. He is already planning to offer her family a lowball dowry of 50,000 baht, and now he wants to start her off with 2 baht of gold instead of the customary 11? He asks the jeweler if he can leave a down payment and come back tomorrow with the rest of the cash required for his paltry purchase. Does David never tire of weaseling his way around paying for things? Last week he was getting ready to hit his friend up for another loan, and this week he’s wheeling and dealing with the jeweler–and Annie–to get out of presenting her with the traditional amount of gold.

None of this would matter if it wasn’t so obviously important to Annie. She pouts her way through the humiliating episode at the jewelry store, then unleashes her frustration on the way home, asking why David is 48 years old and has nothing. When he explains to her that he lost everything in his divorce, she tells him she doesn’t care about the past and he needs to figure out a way to take care of her. Ah, true love. At this point Annie should just cut her losses and this farce should go no further. She only has a couple of weeks invested in this relationship, and David is obviously in no position to provide her with the security she’s seeking. David can move on to another, less demanding gold digger, and we can all be spared yet another cringeworthy 90 Day Fiance coupling.

Nicole has landed in Casablanca and she still hasn’t been able to reach Azan. She is concerned that he might not be there to meet her and May, and wait a minute–she’s worried this man won’t be at the airport to pick up her and her 2-year-old daughter? WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE?

It turns out Nicole’s worries are for naught, because Azan is there and he actually seems glad to see Nicole. He doesn’t even squirm that much when May calls him Daddy, and showers the little girl with affection. This makes Nicole jealous. Smh. She still doesn’t get that Morocco’s laws do not permit PDA between adults, and despite this apparent happy reunion, I predict there is disaster ahead for Nicole and Azan. Or at least Nicole–for Azan there is only freedom and the dodging of a massive bullet.

Molly is meeting her father, and because her relationship with him is strained, she is bringing her brother to act as a buffer between them. You know you’re in the presence of some good old rednecks when the first question out of the brother’s mouth is, “you drunk yet?” Molly’s Dad is not yet drunk enough to brush aside his concerns about Luis’ intentions, and reminds Molly that since America’s borders are effectively closed, people will pull any scam to get here. Here’s another person that thinks the only allure his daughter could hold for someone is her ability to get him into the US. No wonder she has Daddy issues.

 

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