90 Day Fiance HEA Ep. 7 Recap: “Models” and Melees

Chantel and Pedro

Pedro returns from his unproductive meeting with Chantel’s father and brother. Chantel is disappointed to hear it did not go well. How can she be surprised?

Chantel and Pedro are checking into the resort where their wedding is supposed to be held. Chantel awkwardly greets her family while Pedro ignores them. Somebody is walking around the lobby of this “resort” in a bikini.

The happy couple meets with their wedding planner. Chantel is worried about the seating arrangement since she and Pedro’s families hate each other. I can’t believe this wedding is actually going to happen after everything that’s gone on since they arrived in the DR.

Chantel plans to sit down with Pedro’s mother and sister in attempt to repair their relationship. Pedro sabotages the meeting before it begins by telling them that Chantel’s father told him Chantel is better off without him.

Chantel begins by apologizing for her family’s behavior, but Mother and Sister Pedro are unreceptive. She then tries to justify her family’s actions by explaining that they think Mother Pedro encouraged Pedro to marry an American woman. Not the best move. Mother and Sister Pedro guffaw and call the Family Chantel stupid. Chantel changes the subject and begins complaining about how Pedro needs to treat her better and stop sending the mother and sister so many gifts. Again, not the best move.

The sister is one rude, aggressive, entitled little chica. She leans into Chantel’s face and tells her she’s tired of hearing her complain about the same things over and over again. Then she calls her a fucking bitch. Chantel retorts that she’s a fucking whore and walks away as the mother and sister laugh. God, they are awful!

Instead of nickel-and-diming Pedro with requests for hair straighteners and toiletries, Pedro’s sister needs to ask for the only thing that’s going to make her look better–a chin implant. I heard they’re cheap in the DR, just like the rent.

Jorge and Anfisa

Anfisa meets her friend Miranda to lounge by the pool. This is the lifestyle she envisioned when she came to America. Anfisa and Miranda discuss Anfisa’s recent facial enhancements, Jorge’s attempts to get in touch with her and Anfisa’s feelings for Jorge. This is a very one-sided friendship. Miranda inquires about the quality of Jorge and Anfisa’s sex life, and Anfisa admits that she is attached to Jorge because he was her first.

Jorge meets his friend to shop for a gift for Anfisa. He misses her intensely and wants to patch things up. He’s such a sap. And at the same time, a cheapskate. He explains that Anfisa likes really expensive and nice things, yet the gift he selects to win her back is a $300 piece of costume jewelry. I can just imagine the look on Anfisa’s face when she opens it.

Danielle and Mohamed

Tomorrow is the annulment hearing. Finally. I’m sick of watching Danielle talk about the hearing. I’m sick of watching Mohamed talk about the hearing. I just want the hearing to happen already. Mohamed’s friend Tom fills him on his meeting with Danielle. We really don’t need to hear about Tom and Danielle’s conversation because we just saw the whole thing last week. Mohamed loves living in the US but Tom warns him that the reality of the situation is that he may very well get deported.

Danielle leaves Mohamed a message warning him not to start drama at tomorrow’s annulment hearing. Between these two, has Mohamed ever been the one to start drama?

Russ and Paola

Pao is happy that Russ has a job because now he will be too busy to check up on her. She has gotten an offer to be the lead model in a music video for a group that contacted her through social media. Not through her agent–through social media. Think about that. Russ is leery of the opportunity because he has seen this group’s videos and they are too risque for his taste. He wants his wife to look classy. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Pao has never looked classy a day in her life! She doesn’t even know what it means to look classy. Her aesthetic is pure Miami streetwalker. He hasn’t realized that yet?! He should have, it’s why he married her.

Russ lays down his rules for the video shoot: no lingerie and a good paycheck. Of course this means there will be lingerie and at best an average paycheck. It’s hilarious that he has a problem with lingerie but is okay with the tawdry ensembles she wore in her recent photo shoot.

Pao’s agent has invited her to a “networking event.” Pao is keeping it classy by wearing a skin-tight midriff-baring white dress through which her vagina is outlined. The agent assures Pao that everyone who walks in the door is either a millionaire or a billionaire, and they are all producers or directors. They are all also middle-aged men. This is a networking event all right, but it’s not for modeling. The agent says it’s important to have “girl time” with the other models. This is known as “isolating.” During this girl time, another model tells Pao how much money she can make and how glamorous the modeling world is. This is known as “normalizing.” Poor Pao doesn’t think it’s fishy that the other models are only kind of attractive, or that her agent has failed to get her a single job but now wants her to mingle with a room full of greasy-looking older men. Those stars in her eyes are blinding her.

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